We have set a date!!

At last I have an answer when people ask when I'm getting married! Hooray! July 11, 2009!

Most people who know me well (and some who don't) know that on most days (we're talking 99 out of 100) I get a 44 oz. fountain diet coke, also known as a Super Big Gulp or SBG. Thus, H2B and I felt it was important that our anniversary be 7-11. We are so glad that our one stop shop venue (ceremony and reception) was available on this special day!

I have decided on a dress and once I get back to Baltimore (I'm visiting my mom in California at the moment) I have an appointment to get measured and order it!

On to flowers, invitations, and cake! Oh my!

A non-linear process for a linear thinker

Last weekend, H2B and I toured our first possible wedding venue. Granted, it's the one and only place we've seen so far, but it's pretty awesome. The cost is not prohibitively high, and seems almost reasonable, and the best part is this: they do everything for you but the flowers, cake and music. YES! Fewer logistics for me to deal with! I'm also getting ready to fly to California to visit my mom and order my dress.

So a picture of my wedding, oops, OUR wedding, has begun to form in my head. Great! I was starting to feel like a defective bride! So for the past few days, instead of focusing my undivided attention on watching the many many hours of shows that are recorded in my TiVo, I've been googling like crazy!

Yup, CRAZY. I am a linear thinker so my first instinct is to take on one thing at a time. I'm learning, however, that this way of thinking is not compatible with the wedding planning process. My brain does not know what to do with this. In the span of one hour last night, with a glass of wine at my side, I googled the following (and sent H2B many many links for his opinions): wedding hair, honeymoon locations, wedding cakes, invitations, and area rugs. Okay, so that last one actually falls in the home decorating category, but you can see my point.

All of these ideas are great, but guess what? We can't do anything until we find and book a place. I am so anxious to do that because I feel like once a date is set, the next logical thing will magically make itself known to me. Plus the added bonus of having an actual answer when people ask when the wedding is!

I'm sure my fabulous Excel skills will help me keep track of what has been done and what still needs to be done. It's a shame that project management of this magnitude is not an appropriate thing to put on a resume!

Become a chauvinist, you'll make more $$$

One of my Scrippsie friends sent me a link to this article from the Washington Post this afternoon. All I have to say is wow. In case you are too lazy to click this link, but aren't so lazy that you're going to read this post, here's a quick summary. A study published in the September issue of the Journal of Applied Psychology found that men with "traditional" views of gender roles (a.k.a. men should work while women stay at home to cook, clean, and have babies) make more money than men with "egalitarian" views of gender roles (the idea that men and women can be successful in the work place and can share, equally, household chores like parenting, cooking, etc). Both groups of men, however, still make more money than women. Just so you can get the whole picture, here's the spectrum of average salaries, from highest to lowest, of people in similar jobs, with similar levels of education, and a similar number of hours worked per week: Chauvinist Men, Good Guys, Career-Minded Women, Stupid women who feel they belong home.

It's really no secret that I tend towards the feminist end of the spectrum, so it should come as no surprise that I have some thoughts about this. Now, I try to be fair and give the human race the benefit of the doubt on most things. So as I read through this article, I began trying to think of reasons for these disparities. The only one that seemed remotely plausible was that men tend to be more assertive and aggressive and therefore can probably negotiate higher salaries.

No such luck, the article addressed that too. It's apparently more likely that "People make others uncomfortable when they disconfirm stereotypes -- we don't know how to interpret them."And that apparently results in a lower salary for men who feel women are of equal worth in the workplace.

The only comfort I took from this is that at least there's a group making less than I, and it's the women who are working, but think they should be playing a more domestic role. I really hope this holds true. I know a number of women my age who openly admit that they are only working until they meet a rich guy who'll marry them and then they can quit, and the first thing they try to figure out when meeting a new guy is how much he makes and how much he has. Seriously?? Are there still women out there like this?? It appalls me, it really does. And it offends me that some of them are my age, with the same, or similar, job title as I have. Please oh please let them be making significantly less money. Wouldn't that just be the epitome of just desserts?

Perhaps I'm not growing up after all...

So, having reflected for the past few posts on my growing maturity and wisdom, I would like to share with my loyal readers (all two of you) the backslide that happened today.

Let me start at the beginning...

You know that H2B and I have a shiny, new apartment (but that he doesn't live there yet). I've been make trip after trip to Target, Bed, Bath & Beyond, etc looking for curtains, area rugs, and placemats galore to make this place a home. But it's not enough for me that it be filled with functional items, I want these things to be nice and avoid that "collegey" look of furniture purchased on Craig's List or passed down from dorm rooms of graduating seniors. So as you can see in this photo, I have a deep, purple, velvet couch and 2 Scripps green reading chairs. Now, they look okay together, but finding rugs, curtains, etc that match both has been a challenge.

This past weekend, I went to NC to visit H2B. We each had one goal for the weekend: mine was to find curtains, his was to find matching nightstands. We found neither, but we did score an awesome, brand new couch for $300. Sweet! We had already agreed to get a futon for the spare bedroom, so that it can still be usable space for us, but still a comfy(ish) guest room. This means goodbye to the Purple Beast.

At first I was happy; we had a great new couch that was more comfortable and easier to decorate around. Plus, it's an actual adult person couch whereas I bought the Purple Beast from my old boss when she moved from LA to NYC, and she had bought it used from someone else. So who even knows how old this thing is and it's getting a little shabby.

But today, as I was asking various co-workers if they knew of any college age kids who could use a cheap, super cute couch, I suddenly got this overwhelming feeling that I am just not ready to let go of the Purple Beast. It was my first major furniture purchase (by volume, not by cost) and I do love the color and it's quite comfy. I have a sense that there's some deeper, psychological reason for my wanting to keep it. I just don't know what that is yet... All I know is, I'm clearly not as grown up as I'd like to think. And I'm good with that.

Milestone

I feel that I have reached a milestone in life. And it’s one that I never really thought about until I reached it. I am finally at a point where I can work from home. This is a big step. It means that not only am I responsible enough to actually work from home instead of vegging on the couch, but my bosses see me as mature and responsible enough to be able to work at home.

The first day I worked from home a few weeks ago, I honestly had no idea how it would go. I had a big report to write and was hoping I would be able to concentrate on it amongst the boxes and chaos that my house was in as I prepared for the move. I was pleasantly surprised that I got an astonishing amount of work done and the time flew by. The only problems were that 1) around 3 or 4, I got really stir crazy and felt the need to seek human interaction and 2) I was uber-responsive to every e-mail I received so that folks back at the office would know that I was working hard and not slacking off.

So yesterday morning when I woke up feeling sicker than I’ve felt in years (I’ll spare you the details), I spent an hour hitting the snooze button, telling myself that if I didn’t dry my hair I could hit snooze two more times (you know the game), before it occurred to me that I didn’t have to figure out what to wear, I didn’t have to put on makeup, I didn’t even have to get out of my PJ’s. I’ve never been one to call in sick at work. I think I’ve only done it twice. So it was really nice to realize I could go back to sleep until 9, and work from the comfort of my own home.

The only problem with working from home while you’re sick is resisting the temptation (and need) to take a nap.

I Moved!!

Yay! The move that I’ve been waiting for since H2B and I signed the lease in JUNE finally happened over the long weekend! Now that it’s over, I can tell you that it’s done, all my belongings are in tact and within the four walls of my new swanky apartment. However, the road getting there was so full of bumps and potholes, I prefer to call it an obstacle course.

As I may have mentioned previously, my new apartment building is indeed new. It was just built. When H2B and I first toured it, the interior walls weren't even up yet, just the framing so we could see (sort of) the size and shape of the rooms. Our fingers were tightly crossed that we would be able to move Saturday or Sunday of Labor Day weekend, instead of having to wait till Monday of this rare three-day weekend. After going back and forth a million times with the managers, we finally convinced them to let us in on Sunday.

Stubborn H2B did not feel that the cost of hiring movers for something we could do ourselves was not money well spent. I was not able to change his mind on this, but he did convince his army friend, Frank, to come up and help out. I was a little nervous about this, no offense Frank, because I've had professional movers several times in the past and they are great. Moving yourself just blows. So mid-week last week, H2B calls me and says Frank can't come. I paniced and made the executive decision that professioal movers were now not only preferrable, but necessary. I found some who were available on this very popular moving weekend, 3 movers for 3 hours for only $306. Not bad at ALL! A half hour later, H2B calls back saying Frank now CAN come. I kept the movers, but welcomed Frank to come up and enjoy the wonders of Baltimore.

Sunday morning, at 9am, the three of us were hanging out on my front steps waiting. Around 9:30, H2B asks if we should call the movers to see where they are. Trying to be very laid back and relaxed (totally uncharacteristically), I tell him movers are always late and not to worry. 9:45 rolls around. No movers. I call the company, they are worried because this crew is supposedly very reliable. Yeah, they were in a horrible car accident and at a local hospital, wondering if their driver was going to make it or not. Of course I felt horrible for them, but was also thinking "well now what am I going to do?" This most excellent moving company got me a replacement crew by noon! Amazing! I highly recommend them, if you're moving soon, check out movers4hire.com

So my new apartment is all set. At least at first glace. All boxes and miscellaneous furniture is in the spare bedroom, with the door shut. I foresee it staying that way until H2B returns to town. He is the nester of the two of us. I'm not one to put stuff up on the walls or unpack boxes full of crap that I should probably throw away when I could be on the couch watching a Law & Order SVU marathon or trashy movies on Lifetime.